A motley assortment of quotes from Ivan for the past couple of months.

“What would happen if someone cutted off my tongue?” Ummmm, it would hurt and there would be blood. You couldn’t taste things or speak. Let’s just say nothing good comes of cutting off body parts.

While working a jigsaw puzzle,”This is as easy as a giant buffalo.” I’m not sure he has that saying correct.

“Would you like jumpany?” I said yes and he leaped into my lap. It hurt a little, but I liked his enthusiasm and his pun.

Weapons Ivan thinks should exist “the pee-pee shooter” that shoots balls of urine. He had a dream about fighting zombies with a pee-pee shooter. It was in his words “a really good dream.” The “diaperarang” which is like one of Batman’s battarangs but made of a stinky diaper. Related note – we’ve been reading him a lot of Captain Underpants books at his request. He’s also been asking which weapons are real and which are pretend and why his mom doesn’t like weapons. Light sabers and freeze rays are not real. Bombs and guns are. I don’t like weapons because they are designed to hurt people. Are there other uses for weapons? We discussed explosives and he is now fascinated with the idea of using explosives to demolish a tall building.

“Spike the rhino needs to go home. It is almost time for him to hibernate.” I think Ivan is about ready to leave the Santa breakfast with his new small rhino toy.

“Is it true that yellow is the best color in the universe?” Ivan, you do not have to believe everything your sister says.

The game blokus now includes the “teeny tiny two-two” and “death hook” pieces. Ivan has named the shapes himself.

“My robot monkey friend who lives in Chicago is named Goo-dee-goo.”

Said repeatedly during Christmas tree decorating, “I like Christmas.”