Ivan Speaks

kandinskyinspired
This artwork is “Brown Baby Heads.” It is inspired by a Kandinsky painting. Unlike his sister Ivan tells me he is not an artist, but he enjoys making art.

Some recent utterances:

Dancing, taking pictures and eating food give me ENERGY!

i: Can I be Santa Claus this Christmas?
A: What would you do if you were Santa?
i: Dress up like Santa and wrap your presents and not tell you what is in them.

Did you know I’m trained to be a ninja?

Do you know why I called Eric a genius? Because he can roll a burrito.

Upon seeing me bring out the vacuum, “Are we going to have company?”
No, kid, I am just vacuuming to ya’know clean the floor. I don’t only vacuum for company, do I?

Ivan is starting to get irregular past verbs.
bringed is becoming brought
sayed is becoming said
goed is becoming went
I know it had to happen, but he sounds so grown up with his proper forms.

“What does V look like again?”
Ivan can recognize and type all the letters in his name except the V, but if you flash him the peace sign he can then find the V.
Go, Ivan.

Ivan speaks

iisfor
Ivan with his artwork from Belle’s 4th birthday party. Full disclosure -Ezri did most of the parts that are pink.

Conversations and quotes from Ivan

i: Can we play Lego Batman?
E: We can play for 10 or 15 minutes.
i: Fifteen! Fifteen!

The Best Day Ever – a few examples
“We played Lego Batman in the basement. Dis is the best day ever”
“I went to a ice cream social AND I got ice cream. Dis is the best day ever.”
Snuggled into my lap watching a movie in someone’s driveway at the annual block party, “Dis is the best day ever.”

Unprompted Gratitude – a few examples
“Thank you bees from Lyman woods. I like this honey.” Ivan’s comment on breakfast.
“Thank you for this dinner.” (Thanking Eric for corn on the cob. The corn is good this time of year)
“Thank you for these shoes.” Eric bought him new sneakers with Ninja turtles on them.

“My foot is blurry.” This is Ivan’s description of how it feels when his foot has fallen asleep.

From showertime, “I like it when you wash my butt. Can you always wash my butt?”

Ezri has always had a hard time pronouncing words with vowels followed by the letter R. Whirlpool, artist, girl
This led to a dispute about whether she was singing about party time or potty time. Ivan was sure she was saying “potty time” in the lyric “You’ll know just where to find him when it’s potty time!”

Walking the 3/4 mile to school to pick-up his sister on a sunny day:
i: Walking is boring. Why can’t we take the black car?
A: I’m not driving on a day this pretty. I’m walking and enjoying the sunshine.
i: When can I get my driver’s license?

Ivan Speaks

mouseart
Pictured above is Ivan’s mouse art from his new art class started this week.

Some conversations with Ivan.

i: Do you know what it means when the clouds are connected?
A: No, what?
i: It means it is going to rain.

i: What would happen if you popped a storm cloud?

A: What does your Superman ice cream taste like?
i: Frozen Jalapenos.
A: Really??
i: What do Jalapenos taste like?

I tell Ivan a Greenberg story. (Greenberg is a bear who lives on the 27th floor of an apt. building because he really loves to ride the elevator).
Ivan asks, “Is Greenberg real?”
I say, “No, there isn’t a real Greenberg. He is a story that I make up. You can make up stories too.”
Ivan asks, “Do you want to hear a story?”
I say, “Yes.”
“This is the story of Poopy-face. He lives in a house that is all poop. He is all poop. Even HIS FACE. He eats poop for lunch. That is all for now. I will tell you more stories of Poopy-face another time.”

Ivan is pictured spreading out Star Wars toys and knocking them down.
starwarsplay

Ezri labels things around the house. Here is Ivan puppy up for sale.
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Ivan speaks

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Guess I’ve been collecting Ivan quotes for a few months now. Here they are.

Singing loud and proud, “I don’t want a pickle. I just wanna ride on my taco-cycle.” He takes a pause to explain, “A taco-cycle is a little taco with wheels.”

“This pencil doesn’t have any spike.”
Explaining the problem of a dull pencil.

“I’m a bottom spit. I need more popcorn.”
He was trying to say the phrase “bottomless pit.”

A: Tomorrow is your last day of tot school.
i: YEAH! We are going to have a show and sing our favorite songs sitting in chairs.
A: What will you sing?
i: The clean up song.
A: How does that go?
i: ‘Clean up! Clean up!’ . . .and then some other words.
A: It will be your last day with your teachers Mrs. Rumsey and Mrs. Topic. Will you miss them?
i: No, I will not miss them. But, I miss you. Like when you’re Denver.

“You made a rhyme. Pan and pants RHYME!”

When Ivan gets a bump or scrape sometimes he will refuse Eric and say, “No kiss it! Amanda, you kiss it.”
That’s kind of sweet. But then sometimes when Eric is trying to help him after using the potty he will say, “No, NO Wipe. Amanda wipe.” Less sweet.

A: Look, those kids are playing soccer.
i: I LOVE soccer!
A: You do?
i: Yeah! You get to yell “Fire! Fire!” really loud and there’s cotton candy.
His love here is spectating at Chicago Fire soccer games, not playing soccer.

“I will always share my ice cream with you. . .because you tickle me.”

Jumping through the house making the video game sounds
A: Are you Mario?
i: No, I am Luigi.

“There! There! the-trash-picking-up Zamboni!” Ivan, you mean garbage truck, but I like your description better.

After having a BB gun described to him. “If I had a baby gun, I would do this and shoot metal pellets in my face.” He will never get a BB gun. He is describing what he does with a squirt gun, but then you just get water in the face.

“When it was night time I dreamed we goed to Target and got a NEW SOCCER BALL! Do you like my dream?”

Ivan putting a tomato in our shopping cart
A: Why are you putting a tomato in the cart? You don’t like tomatoes.
i: It’s for Ezri.

“I am going to save some of my lemonade for you because you hug me that’s why I’m gonna give you lemonade.”

“Remember” – Ivan uses this word like it means to know. This results in him asking if you remember things you would have no way of remembering because you were not present for them. “Do you remember what I’m playing?” “Do you remember what Linny made for the baby?” (episode of Wonder Pets I was not watching)

“This day” Ivan doesn’t say today and tonight. He talks about “this day” and “this night” and “the day after this day” and “the night after this night.”

Ivan: Are penguins real?
Me: yes.
Ivan: YAY! We can play with the penguins when it’s winter! . . . Do penguins come out in the winter?
Me: Not in this part of the world.
Ivan: Why?

Ivan (brandishing a stick like a sword): “I am BOOBY BUNNY!”
Me: Is that . . .your fighting name?
Ivan: Yeah! Booby means I can repair myself.
Me: What does bunny mean?
Ivan: ATTACK!
Me: So, you are an attacker who can repair any damage done to you.
Ivan (swirling around with stick): Yeah! I am BOOBY BUNNY! hee-yah!

Singing gently to a rock he has colored green with sidewalk chalk and has cupped in his swaying hands, “Rock-a-bye, Rocky, in the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come cradle, Rocky, and all.”

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Ivan speaks

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Some choice things I’ve heard come out of Ivan’s mouth:

Ivan approaches with what is most likely one of his toy magnatiles in his pants.
i (with big smile): What do I have in my pants?
E: Ivan, I am not sure this is a great game.
i (earnestly): It is a great game.
Eric has been set straight. Putting toys into one’s pants and having others guess what they are based on their shape is a great game.

A: You are a plant ninja!
i: No, I am a plant who only knows ninja tricks.
Amanda has been set straight. Ivan is not a plant ninja.

For being especially good while grocery shopping the kids got a box of Apple Jacks cereal. Ivan’s process is to eat all the green ones first and then the orange. His favorite thing about this cereal, “It makes my poop green when I poop in the potty.”

Waking in the wee hours of the morning clearly mostly still in nightmare, “EZRI! NO! NO! Wait for me, EZRI! I FIRST!” His desire to be ahead of sister while walking or to be first to brush his teeth at night or to be first to wash his hands before dinner has now entered his nightmares.

“What if there were a bunch of baby pterodactyls in trouble and we didn’t have our capes?” Ivan wore his cape for the rest of the afternoon just in case. I took the photos you see in this post of his Super Ivan cape wearing.

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Ivan speaks

ivancookiebaker
Ivan is great at baking and, unlike his sister, he’s not just in it to lick the beaters and spoons.

Some quotables from my boy:

i: I want to lemonade.
A: What?
i: I want to lemonade. With the lemonader.
A: Oh, you want to use my laminator.

Ezri explains money to Ivan.
e:We need to make these to earn money.
i: Why?
e: We need money.
i: Why?
e: For banana splits. You can’t get banana splits without money.

We went to the bakery for cookies. The last time we went it was Thanksgiving and I was reminding Ivan of the turkey decorated cookie he had received.
i: There will be turkey cookies?
A: No, those were for Thanksgiving, but they will have ones decorated like Smiley faces.
i: For Smilesgiving?
A: Yes, for Smilesgiving. Any day can be Smilesgiving.

Playing Wookiee rescue goes to Chuck E. Cheese and singing the jingle from Chuck E. Cheese commercials with altered lyrics:
i & e singing: Chuck E. Cheese’s where a kid can be a Wookiee!

When Ivan pretends to be Spider-man. I get to be Spider-mom. I love being Spider-mom.
i: Spider-mom, look there’s Doctor Octopus. AHHHH!
or
i: Spider-mom, can we have snack now?

Pointing at the buds on our paperwhite flowers, “Some are not bloomed like when I curl up in a ball to hide from the wind.”

“These are the good waffles. These are the bad waffles. And they will fight in my mouth.”

A: What’s your name?
i: Ivan
A: What’s your last name?
i: Blau!
A: What’s your address?
i: I don’t have a dress.

Ivan’s favorite game is “Super Baby Fight” and involves being a super baby and fighting bad guys and wearing a cape. I am loose on the specifics, but he and his sister play a lot.

Ivan speaks

Another collection of words that have come from Ivan.

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makinglatkes
“I am making latkes!” The kids turned the play bagels felt side up to be Hanukkah latkes.

“Hello, Manchi-moo, it’s me Cyborg!” Manchi is our cat. Ivan was pretending to be Cyborg.

“Look, rainbow moons!” After looking at the sun Ivan explained that he could now see many rainbow moons in the sky.

As we were Trick-or-Treating:
“Let’s go to that house to see if there are grown-ups at home to put candy in my bucket.”

While putting Ivan to bed the day after Halloween:
i: I do not like this night.
A: Why?
i: I like Halloween night.

“Let’s make a family ice cream. You be the cone. I be the ice cream. Ezri is the CHERRY!” It worked fine when Ivan crawled onto me, but failed when the cherry tried to get on top of the ice cream.

“I call this rocking moose Bucking Bronco!”

“Can I have another horsey kiss?” (Hershey kiss sounds like horsey when Ivan says it.)

“Poo-dolph the Purple Nosed Paindeer Pad a perry piney pose!” – alternate lyrics brought to you by the Letter P

“I am gonna pick off your head and spin it like a dreidel.” He was playing with playmobil knights whose heads pop off pretty easily, but still. . .

When he found one of his old pacifiers, “Dat’s my binky. Did I put that in my mouth when I was a baby?” Yes, you did, Ivan. When you were a baby was about a month ago that you gave up your pacifier even at night for real and forever.

Ivan Speaks

A collection of Ivan quotes:

trainb
“Train! Train!” as he runs to find the perfect spot to watch the train go by with his sister.

“Can we have bath time last night?”

“When Dragon misses me he breathes FIRE!” After leaving dragon for a sleepover at the library.

“That car looks like Reddy. I miss Reddy.” Reddy is the name given to our rental car that we traveled in back in June. Reddy is still missed whenever we see a red sedan.

After being informed pacifiers will only ever be given when he is sleeping. Ivan calls from his bed in his room, “Eric, I’m sleeping. . . I need a binky, Eric.”

“My storm trooper likes good and healthy things like oatmeal squares.” The importance of balanced nutrition for one’s small plastic action figures cannot be overplayed.

“These are not slimy.” After trying his first toasted pumpkin seed. They start out slimy, but cleaned and toasted they are delicious.

Ivan Speaks

ivanclimbing

i: I am a big kid.
A: And getting bigger and some day you’ll be a grown-up.
i: I don’t want to be a grown-up.
A: Well, you will keep growing and someday you will be a grown-up.
i: I don’t want to die.
A: Well, everyone dies.
i: Do people get smaller?
A: No, we grow bigger not smaller.
i: I don’t want to grow up.
A: Do you want to play on the slide?
i: Yeah!

Ivan has been pretending to be the astromech droid Chopper who he has seen in ads for the upcoming cartoon Star Wars Rebels. He loves Chopper and will roleplay Chopper at length. In his play, I am Hera the ship captain who tries to get Chopper, the grumpy astromech droid, to help repair things. Chopper has trouble listening to the captain and crew, but ultimately has a good heart. I think art is imitating life here.
Anyway that’s the background for this conversation.
i: My favorite astromech droid is Chopper.
A: My favorite is R2D2.
i: I am Chopper. (It was clear from his tone that he really wanted to be my favorite astromech droid. I’ve long loved R2D2 but Chopper is growing on me.)

Ivan Speaks

ivantashistory

The key to who is speaking:
i is for Ivan
e is for his big sister, Ezri
A for his mom, Amanda
E for his dad, Eric

Here is a collection of Ivan quotables:

“I can’t walk so much longer.” This is his common tired plea to be carried.

e: More cake please. Just a tad more.
i: I would like a tad too. Tad too, PLEASE!
(It sounded like he was asking for a tattoo which only made it funnier.)

Speaking about Eric’s new guitar.
i: What color is it?
E: black.
i: How black?
E: As black as my soul.
i: What soul?
E: Touche.

i: I want more pizza.
A: We are all done. No more pizza.
i: Daddy, I want more pizza.
E: No more pizza, Ivan.
i: Ezri, I want more pizza.
(As if his big sister had the power to provide pizza. She wishes.)

“Kool-aid is good, but water is gooder.” Ivan now likes lemonade, but has always turned down most beverages that are not H2O.

Ivan does not like bright sunshine. He often says, “It’s too sunny” and then does not want to exit the car or the building into the sunshine. That’s the context for this quote, “I like trees. Sun makes sunshine. Tree makes shade.”

Playing with the superheroes in the day following Ivan’s stomach illness.
i (speaking as his batman action figure): My tummy hurts. Catwoman, I need a hug.
e (speaking as catwoman): I’m sorry, Batman. I am much too busy with my motorcycle right now.

First Ivan wanted green cake for his birthday, now it’s “Green cake with green frosting with green candle. And lemonade.” His sister asked if the lemonade should be green. Ivan said simply, “Lemonade is yellow.” He also wants to go somewhere special for his birthday like “the library and Dunkin Donuts.”